


please, dont let me remember.

by 1n4rizaki



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Missing Persons, OCs (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27472588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1n4rizaki/pseuds/1n4rizaki
Summary: "its a distant memory, really. from before he went missing. hiiragi doesnt even remember this exact day anymore, he kinda... erased it from his mind ya know?" yukis voice just rang in hiiragis head as he listened to him talkdrawing posted on @1N4RIZAKI on twitter.i wrote this while listening to this playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6G7YrLLo7VQjVEDLEKHXtI?si=1-SgXBYjSqOvxdCAHfcEhg
Relationships: Kashima Hiiragi/Yoshida Yuuki
Kudos: 5





	please, dont let me remember.

yuki, hiiragi and shizusumi have been friends since they were around 2, they were always together and in their own little world. shizusumi was the quietest out of the three, the kid kept to himself, he wasnt all that fond of people anyway. but yuki and hiiragi? holy shit were they dumb as all hell. always talking to strangers and wondering off, like far off away from their parents without even realising yet.. it wasnt one of them that went missing. it was shizusumi. which youre probably not surprised by because some kidnappers go straight for the quieter kids for the fact that they are indeed quiet. but when the case got opened the police said there was no sign of kidnapping or any evidence where they last saw shizusumi. so of course everyone just thought he had ended up wondering off and the case changed from kidnapping to running away/lost kid. but they looked and looked and looked.... and looked and couldnt find shizusumi anywhere. hiiragi was upset, probably a lot more than yuki was so yuki took it on himself to take care of him, as he was indeed slightly older than hiiragi so he felt like it was his job to ground hiiragi. but it wasnt easy, hiiragi was in tears, practically hyperventilating because his best friend, probably his soulmate was just missing and no one could find him. it didnt help that the grown ups were gone again to go look for shizusumi. yuki tried and tried his best to calm hiiragi down and he eventually did, it took a while but they were both settled on the couch watching cartoons. hiiragi was layed inbetween yukis small legs, his head on yukis chest as he played with yukis fingers and the blanket that yuki had gave him to cling onto. they ended up falling asleep like that.

they were five when shizusumi went missing. theyre now 17. it had been a while but it seemed like only yuki remembered it. hiiragi had ended up pushing those memories away even if he didnt mean to. yukis and hiiragis relationship has grown a lot since then, as they were dating now. hiiragi had always had such a crush on yuki for a while ever since middle school but he never admitted it to himself nor yuki til yuki told him that he infact did have a crush on him. saying 'crush' sounds childish but for lack of a better word they were gonna use it. they went on dates and shit before actually getting into a relationship. but yuki was worried about hiiragi.

hiiragi didnt remember his childhood nor his missing friend, shizusumi.

and yukis friends were also worried about hiiragi.

"its like he somehow repressed the memory so much that he fucking forgot everything!" tsutsumi konimori, second year at hokkaido wakkanai high school who just so happened to be one of yukis only close friends exclaimed, he was so fucking confused how one person forgets every single thing from the age of 2 up until 8 and the other remembers everything. it just made no sense to him, like at all. and yuki agreed with him, he himself was confused as to how hiiragi remembers nothing and he remembers everything. how does that even happen?

tokugawa kazuko, tsutsumis second year friend, overheard their conversation and butt in, even thought he shouldnt have, "well, he might not wanna remember anything that happened that involves shizusumi. he repressed those feelings for a reason and you just have to find out why he did. it probably wont be easy" his voice was smooth, as if he knew what he was talking about, which he did. he studies trauma and effects of trauma in his free time to help a friend and it kinda settled yuki that he knew about trauma and could probably help hiiragi. he just wanted his best friend and boyfriend to come to terms with his feelings that he calls 'shitty'

hiiragi was struggling and yuki wanted to help.

he hadnt even noticed hiiragi walk into class so he continued speaking to the two boys next to him. he had his phone out, showing the boys a picture of hiiragi and shizusumi before he spoke again "its a distant memory, really. from before he went missing. hiiragi doesnt even remember this exact day anymore, he kinda... erased it from his mind ya know?" yukis voice just rang in hiiragis head as he listened to him talk. yuki didnt even notice him walk into the class and now hes talking about him? hiiragi felt horrible. it didnt help that his adhd was playing up and making him not wanna do anything, so he let his head drop and hit the table, not once, not twice but three times. he was so tired of this class and it hadnt even begun. he just wanted to be in the studio with yuki and playing his guitar, thats literally it. thats all he wanted to do. then he wanted to go home and get into bed and get distracted by his ceiling that still has glow in the dark stars all over it. thats when yuki noticed he was in the classroom, thats when yuki got up and went to hiiragis desk and put a hand on his back, asking him if he was okay, which he obviously wasnt but he lied and said he was fine. yuki didnt take that for an answer and asked him if hed like to skip school for the rest of the day and go to the studio, knowing thats what he wanted.

so of course thats what he did

hours n hours later, yuki n hiiragi were on their way to their houses, they lived like two doors away from each other so they walked there together, hand in hand as usual. but something was off. hiiragi was still upset. why? he had remembered everything that had happened in the past. and he was so fucking upset that he wasnt there to keep his friend safe even though he himself was a kid and that couldve been him.

that night hiiragi stayed up all night doing research on the case and looking at the case files he somehow got hold of. he knew shizusumi was probably dead but he didnt wanna say that. he didnt wanna admit it until it was true. so he got the case reopened. they looked for him again for months on end. which turned into an entire year. then they concluded that he was infact most likely dead and there was no point in looking for him. and thats when hiiragis heart shattered. he felt awful. he couldnt eat for days and he just clung to yuki constantly. he wouldnt leave his side. he was constantly letting his paranoia and anxiety take over him but yuki didnt care, he stuck by his side even through the people telling him to leave his unstable boyfriend. they didnt know hiiragi like he did. he knew his way around all of this and knew how to take care of hiiragi. so he stayed.

hiiragi eventually got better, he eventually came around and accepted his feelings and accepted everything that was happening. this also came with him accepting himself and loving himself after years of hating himself. he was happy and now living with yuki and better than ever. him and yuki even formed a band together with shinkai yoshimochi who was dating kazuko and he was their drummer. everything was perfect.

nothing could break their happiness.


End file.
